Sunday, 9 August 2009

Customer Service Demands: Unilever

From: chris*@*.com
To: Via website contact form
Date: June 10th 2009


I am writing** with a query regarding your lovely pepperarmi sticks which I have just finished eating one.

I read on the packet that a stick has 150% pork. I had to ask my friend Sammy what % means because I never knew and Sammy is clever so I knew he would know what % means so I asked him. He said it was something to do with "out of a hundred" and that 100% of something is one of it, and more than 100% means more than one of it. He was going to draw me some pictures but he had to collect Cheryl from the swimming baths and when he got back we'd forgot but I think I know what it means now.

What I want to know is if 100% pork means one whole cow, does 150% (which is 50 more than a whole one) mean one pepperarmi stick has 51 cows in it?

Because if that is what it means I think you should tell more people about it because if you can fit 51 cows into a little stick, that means you can fit a great big farm in a carrier bag instead of lots of fields! I think farmers would like to know how to do that.

I was worried that you might not have time to go out to all the farms in the world telling farmers how to fit their cows into sticks but then I thought if you tell me how to do it I could go out and tell the farmers for you. I am free in the evenings except on Thursdays when I am a Cavalier*** in my local reenactment society.

I have packed my bag already, I thought I would go to Mr Wollesley's farm first as it's only just down by the paper shop but I will wait for you to say yes first.

If you do want to do it yourself then tell me that too, I don't mind. I would like to hear how it goes though!!

Thank you, and keep up the good (pepperarmi making) work!!


*Sammy says emails shouldn't have "dear mr X" written on. If you find this rude please tell me and I'll try harder.

**or rather EMAILING!!

***not the car!!

To: chris*@*.com
Date: June 15th 2009
Subject: Peperami CaseID#701249#

Hello from Peperami

Dear Chris,

Thank you for your recent query about the confusing labelling on Peperami.

Under the labelling laws for processed meat products like sausages, we are
required to state the amount of raw meat as a percentage of the finished
product - including all the other ingredients like spices, salt etc.

For raw sausages the meat percentage will be less than 100% because other
ingredients are added during manufacture.

However, Peperami is a cured sausage and weight is lost through evaporation
of water during manufacture. This means that the weight of the raw meat we
put in before cooking and curing is higher than the weight of the finished
Peperami that is sold. The meat content is therefore more than 100%. As
an example - a 25g Peperami is made with 27g of raw meat.

I hope that this has helped. If you need any further information, then
please let me know.

Kind regards,

Aysha Pirgali
Careline Advisor


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